If a child came to you saying that they are useless, ugly or hurt and feeling unloved, would you say to them “yes of course you are?”
No, no you would not. Why? Because you know how powerfully that will influence that child and that it truly does not serve them in any way and that they are deserving of love and are so much more than how they feel in that moment. You would take them by the hand, look them in the eyes and say positive, powerful, loving and reassuring statements to them, about them. You would hold and comfort them.
When I say this to people, it is like a slap of truthful reality across the face. Many will admit that they have never looked at it that way before. A powerful image to prove a point.
If you would not speak like that to a child, then why are you speaking like that to yourself? Why are you being a bully to a part of yourself that is simply crying out to be heard, seen, felt and loved?
There are aspects within us, some call the inner child that hold false beliefs and stories about what they do or do not deserve and who they are, yet it all feels very real. The only way they can call out to you, is via your emotional body. The problem is, if you are not aware of this process, you buy into the ‘belief’ that it is real. Truth is beyond the shadow of the belief system.
Would you allow a child to drive your car for you, while you sat in passenger seat or worse, in the back seat? No, you would not, yet this is how so many people are living their lives. With the wounded taking control of the direction of their life.
Existing within you is a wise and empowered self. The evolved and aligned adult who knows their power and potential. As the thoughts and feelings arise, recognise it as a child or false. Let that self-know that she is seen, heard, felt and loved. Take that image of the child and embrace her. Reassure her that you will take action and communicate on her behalf and keep her safe. You wouldn’t send a child out into the world to handle an adult situation, would you? No. This is a process of integration and brings you to act in the world and respond from your power.
If you continue to respond in a bullying way, doing your very best to suppress it and keep it quiet, as though it is a negative. The louder it will become, just like a tantrum throwing child needing to be heard. Choose instead to tap into your empowered, wise and adult self and do this process of acknowledging. Placing it in the passenger seat, while you stay in the driver’s seat, it will eventually trust, quieten and integrate.
It is important that you listen to yourself. Be as kind to yourself as you would to a child or another and know that if you are functioning from your feelings all the time, then you have a part of yourself calling out to you to make them safe.
What do you choose now that you know this?
If you are not adept enough to achieve this on your own, then seek out someone who can take you through this terrain towards integration and empowerment.
© 2020 Kaye Doran